An excerpt from the book I’m going to write about my PIRG experience

And by excerpt I mean the only paragraph I actually managed to write when I sat down sometime in November and typed away in a Word document I optimistically called “The Book I Wrote Instead of Getting a Job.doc”

I thought it would be fun if we all came up with sentences for the acronym to make into t-shirts. Have you seen those commercials for Emerald nuts? We could have pictures of pigs wearing yarmulkes for “Pigs In Religious Garb.” But it never got to that point. I never built my little PIRG following. I never held team dinners before a big rally or took my PIRGers bowling. Although apparently there may have been some sort of sentiment in the Evergreen lesbian community that I might almost be cute enough to get them to actually go to a WashPIRG meeting, but that definitely did not pan out. Not that I didn’t try to work that angle—I didn’t have much else going for me—but all that led to were super-awkward encounters where my attempts at simply being friendly were met with blank stares by the awkward co-chairs of the Evergreen Queer Alliance, who were both short with short blondish hair (or maybe one had brownish hair), and seemed to travel as a pair, but not in a coupley way, more of the asexual conjoined twin way. Although I was not completely unsuccessful on that front as I did manage to briefly date one of the senior coordinators, who I could have sworn hated me the first time we met in the Student Activities office. After sharing a bottle of very cheap champagne on Halloween, she asked me if I remembered the first time we met and I told her yeah, I thought she hated me, which she denied, saying that right after she was introduced to me she told her friend, “She’s cute, but she’s the WashPIRG organizer.” Which I think sums up exactly how I felt about myself at that time.