After my third tour today I'm hanging out in the ticket booth when Ryan (the operations manager) says to me, "So, do you remember on your 12:30 tour . . ." and I freeze, thinking he's going to tell me that I hit another car without noticing. ". . . there was a tall guy with blond hair," he continues. Now I'm thinking the guy complained or something-- maybe he was offended by one of my jokes or maybe he had his hand out the window and lost an arm when we turned a corner, I don't know. "Yeah, did anyone tell you who he was?" I didn't remember anyone on my second tour except for the twenty or so little girls with blond hair and freckles who all looked like sisters, or at least cousins. Well, there were probably only eight or so, but they were all wearing pink and it was a little overwhelming. My tour is not generally a hit with small children, especially when they ask me questions, like "What does that red button do?" and I say that it makes us fly. Yeah, don't ever tell a six year old boy that the Duck has a magical flying button. Anyway, I digress. Apparently the father of several of these blond girls was someone who used to play for the Mariners. That's one of the downfalls to being a Seattle tour guide that moved to Seattle approximately three months ago. I had no idea who he was, which is probably good. I can't imagine having a famous person on my tour. It's hard enough entertaining regular people.
So then I see Dean-o (the critic/comedian) hanging around right before my next tour and I'm hoping he's not riding on my tour yet again. Well, he's not, but it's worse. He has told his Australian friends that they should take my tour and he tells me I should do a joke about how I could move the steering wheel to the other side. Of course, I try to switch it up a little and so I end up saying something about how I like to have Australians riding on the duck because if I ever get pulled over for driving on the wrong side of the road I can just say, "Sorry, officer, see they're from Australia and I just wanted to make them feel at home." Wow. Only after typing that up do I fully realize how awful that "joke" is; even if I hadn't completely butchered the delivery I'm sure I still would have got the same blank stares. Oh well.
3 comments:
who was the mystery mariner?!
[unfortunately i wasn't actually really listening to what Ryan was saying because I was seriously thinking I had done something wrong--but I think his name might have been Jeff something or other]
you are the funniest when you're unfunny. is that wrong?
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