Ridiculous: A 2 Part Series

A.
A middle-aged woman disembarking the Duck after my first tour tells me, "You're funny." And then she pauses for a second, makes a weird face, and adds,"Kind of like Ellen Degeneres."

B.
I'm just pulling out of the ticketbooth to take the Duck back to the Nest after my last tour and I'm stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic three cars across at the first stoplight out of the parking lot. I'm attempting to check my voicemail, when I look over to my left and see a couple, probably mid-thirties, in a Jeep. The woman, very blond surfer-looking type, is trying to get my attention and when I look over, she starts talking to me.

"We met your husband in Cabo."

This is probably the most bizarre thing that anyone has said to me. I don't know quite what to do with it.

"Really?" I say. I think that she must be joking, but I have no idea what the joke is.

Now, I wish I had Kate's talent for reconstructing dialogue, because I am definitely not doing this justice, but it went sort of like this:

"You know Candy and Jim, right?"

I think I give her a blank stare. I don't, in fact, know anyone named Candy and/or Jim, and definitely not in that combination.

"Your husband-- his name is Chris?"

"Um, I don't have a husband." I figure it is time to get this out on the table. I've never imagined that I would ever have to spell this out for someone.

Anyway, at this point it gets kind of awkward. I sort of pull ahead in the traffic line, and the woman looks really confused. And she's turning to the guy driving, talking to him, like she can't believe what is happening. Like how can I not be Candy and Jim's friend Chris' wife.