Anyway, I'm teaching a study skills class, and not only do we have to go over how to manage a long-term project and keep a planner (um, writing down your assignments legibly is a good first step for both), the curriculum also covers turning Evan into a "highly effective teen." We do this by going through The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens. This is hilarious.
First off, it's a self-help book. Second off, it's one of those cheesy overly self-referential "yo, teens, I speak your language and I know you're superskeptical of me cause I'm an adult but I used to be a teen just like you who hated to read blah blah blah" self-help books. Now I used to just make Evan read the chapters so we could have brief discussions and then check off the various habits, but that was boring because I just sat there and watched him read, or really pretend to read. And I could sense that 7 Habits was full of gems, so I decided it would be better if I read it aloud, like storytime. The only problem is I can't keep a straight face reading about 86% of the text. But the best was the other day.
We had just done a little exercise for Habit #6 ("Synergize") about different personalities. (For some reason, I love taking multiple choice tests that tell me what type of person I am.) Anyway, each of the four personality types was labeled with a fruit (doesn't that seem more appropriate for 7 Habits of Highly Effective Toddlers?) Evan was an orange while I was just slightly more grape than melon. As a grape, apparently I find it difficult to give exact answers. Evan agreed that assessment was right on. (He also has me for English and Spanish class.) Anyway, I would like to share the paragraph that followed this exercise in its entirety since I don't think paraphrasing will do it justice.
So it's talking about how everyone is different (humanity is a veritable fruit salad) and then:
That's why you shouldn't feel so bad if a member of the opposite sex (whom you are just dying to go out with) doesn't go for you. You may be the most luscious and mouth-watering grape around, but he or she may be looking for a banana. And no matter how much you want a change of fruit, you're a grape and they want a banana.
WHAT?
*I am obviously the most luscious and mouth watering grape around.
5 comments:
i would like to be a kiwi. that seems like a fun fruit. also, we have some strange apple-like pears over here in kenya. they are like asian pears. i like them and i buy as many as i can carry back to my site. go fruit and multiple choice personality tests!
i thought it said "he might be looking for a banana"... and then i smiled... cause i'm 12.
hehehe or as they say here, jejeje! i laughed so hard that the other people in the internet cafe gave me stares-of-death. printed it out and read it to amanda and then put it on my wall. oh luscious grapes...
Awesome. Literally, I am full of awe.
Is it too nerdy to say that this reminds me of Boswell's Life of Johnson? I believe that somewhere around page 1156, Boswell calls Johnson a luscious fruit. For the sake of full disclosure, I will admit that in fact, Boswell was comparing the fecundity of Johnson's brain to the lush growth of a rainforest, and somehow got from there to fruit...but it did always strike me as odd that a biographer would describe his subject as luscious. I wonder if Johnson was a grape, banana, or some other luscious fruit. Boswell was definitely fruity too if you ask me.
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